Office dating jokes
He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. " A married man was having an affair with his secretary.One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! " Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties.My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor puts a 0 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer." A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?
About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the house naked.So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed naked and sweaty. " He replies, "I'm having a heart attack." She says "I'm going to call 911, while I'm really looking for my sister." She discovers the aunt in the bathroom closet in the nude, and gives her a slap, "How dare you! Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her] A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." Bob was in trouble. " The next morning he got up early and left for work.When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.